[Inside is indeed a ring, but at the same time Edward gets back up to sit on the sofa again, adjusting his trousers after that unplanned detour onto the ground.]
[And you gave it to him on one knee after a fun fact about penguins and their love lives???????
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?]
It's lovely. [God, it really is.] Thank you, Edward. [Fuck you, Edward.] I'm so glad you think so highly of me. [Date me date me date me date me date me date me.]
You know how deeply I've admired you since before we've even properly met. It's an honour to call you my friend.
[Such a great, wonderful friend.]
Did you know that penguins ingest a lot of seawater while hunting for fish, but a special gland behind their eyes - it's call the supraorbital gland - filters out the saltwater from their blood stream? They excrete it through their beaks, or by sneezing.
[A beautiful fact, presented to Oswald while sitting close to him on the sofa, after just having given him a ring, and while smiling.]
I -- I did not know that. Then again, I don't really care that much for Penguins. [What a beautifully revolting fact to whisper into his ear like sweet nothings. Why did he like Edward again? No, really. WHY?] Did you recently read a book on them or...?
It has its uses. Of course, so far it's mostly to talk to Harley, but we are making more contacts. However, I really hope that I will gain enough expertise to use technology for our advantage. I've always been ahead of the curve in that area in Gotham...
[As it turns out, in spite of some leaps like, well, bringing people back from the dead, Gotham isn't very technologically advanced, by comparison.]
Listen to me rambling on. I'm sorry, Oswald. Did you want to finish exchanging gifts?
It can be useful for business. On occasion, I message my contacts. [His contact being the very handsome and brilliant Leonard Snart but it looks better to say 'contacts' than one so whatever. Lying is fine between friends.]
Finish the -- oh! Of course.
[Oswald is up and getting his gift. Note how he doesn't give a weird fact about love first. Note how he doesn't get on one knee either. He just holds out a wrapped wrapped with a pleasant smile. Like a normal person.
It's nothing fancy, given his limited resources here, but he did pay someone to steal him this very beautiful watch as a gift.]
[He didn't mean to drop the gift and the fact just occurred to him, gosh, don't make such a big deal out of it.
But since everything is normal here, Edward just takes the gift - normally - and holds it for a moment to admire it before he starts unwrapping. When he sees the watch inside, his smile deepens.]
It's beautiful! Your taste is immaculate as always. Thank you. [He takes it out so he can immediately put it on, turning his arm to do so.]
I have a face, two arms, and two hands, yet I can not move. I count to twelve, yet I can not speak. I can still tell you something everyday.
I made sure the leather strap was green otherwise, what's the point - am I right? I realise you have a bit of a-a theme, right now.
[He waves his hand in general at the dark green suit and the slightly peeking out top of his fern coloured socks. Green really was his colour.]
It suits you, it brings out your eyes.
[Oh. Shit. Did he say that out loud? Whatever, keep ploughing forward. Edward is babbling about some riddle, that should distract him nicely.] Ah, I know that one. It's a watch. Or a clock, I suppose.
Exactly! [Obviously an easy guess, given circumstances, but Edward is smiling at Oswald nonetheless. It's rare enough anyone indulges him in this area and he knows that, unfortunately, Oswald isn't that fond of riddles.]
I am partial to purple. [Whatever that addresses. To clarify, Edward puts a hand on Oswald's arm and indicates his face a little.] To bring our your eyes.
As always, he takes advantage of the moment. A little leeway is all he needs to move on close and put his hand on top of Edward's hand. It's almost as if they're holding hands. And Oswald could dream, couldn't he?] Glad to know. I will have to make sure I pick my colours with you in mind in future.
[It could come across as flirtatious, given circumstances and the fact that, yes, they are currently holding hands, but for someone with his intelligence, Edward has been gifted with an unusual amount of obliviousness.
So he's unaware, even as he leans in close and looks right into Oswald's eyes.]
Your eyes are green. That's very rare. My favourite colour.
It is? I didn't realise it was rare. Though many mistake my eyes for blue.
[Because in certain lights, they were. They changed in the settings and could be whatever colour they needed to be. A deep green or an ocean blue. It was quite interesting. Of all the things about himself, Oswald did really like his eyes.]
Yours are the most fascinating shade of brown. So ... So deep. Dark. I could fall right into them and get lost.
I used to think so, but as I got to know you better, I took a second look. Definitely green.
[Beautiful eyes. Edward does think that Oswald's gaze holds a lot of mesmerising power, perhaps what makes him so charismatic. It has never surprised him how easily the man finds followers.]
Oh, I doubt you'd get lost there. My eyes are really just brown.
[A shrug of his shoulders. He's not overly enamoured with any part of his body, the eyes included.]
[They aren't that remarkable but Edward is and he'd have done anything for him. And, apparently, that included making an idiot out of himself and fawning over him like some idiot.
But damn if his eyes weren't beautiful.] This has been a wonderful Christmas, Edward.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Inside is indeed a ring, but at the same time Edward gets back up to sit on the sofa again, adjusting his trousers after that unplanned detour onto the ground.]
After all, you can't be a Don without a ring.
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[And you gave it to him on one knee after a fun fact about penguins and their love lives???????
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?]
It's lovely. [God, it really is.] Thank you, Edward. [Fuck you, Edward.] I'm so glad you think so highly of me. [Date me date me date me date me date me date me.]
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[Such a great, wonderful friend.]
Did you know that penguins ingest a lot of seawater while hunting for fish, but a special gland behind their eyes - it's call the supraorbital gland - filters out the saltwater from their blood stream? They excrete it through their beaks, or by sneezing.
[A beautiful fact, presented to Oswald while sitting close to him on the sofa, after just having given him a ring, and while smiling.]
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FRIEND?
F R I E N D ?]
I -- I did not know that. Then again, I don't really care that much for Penguins. [What a beautifully revolting fact to whisper into his ear like sweet nothings. Why did he like Edward again? No, really. WHY?] Did you recently read a book on them or...?
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[He taps a finger against the side of his head with a grin.]
All just stored up there. I've mostly been focusing on technology in my recent reading, I have a lot of catching up to do here.
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[He wants to whack that big, beautiful brain of his until it stops being so damn stupid.]
I suppose so. I can't say I care. I can use the-- the thingy now. That's all I really need.
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[As it turns out, in spite of some leaps like, well, bringing people back from the dead, Gotham isn't very technologically advanced, by comparison.]
Listen to me rambling on. I'm sorry, Oswald. Did you want to finish exchanging gifts?
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Finish the -- oh! Of course.
[Oswald is up and getting his gift. Note how he doesn't give a weird fact about love first. Note how he doesn't get on one knee either. He just holds out a wrapped wrapped with a pleasant smile. Like a normal person.
It's nothing fancy, given his limited resources here, but he did pay someone to steal him this very beautiful watch as a gift.]
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But since everything is normal here, Edward just takes the gift - normally - and holds it for a moment to admire it before he starts unwrapping. When he sees the watch inside, his smile deepens.]
It's beautiful! Your taste is immaculate as always. Thank you. [He takes it out so he can immediately put it on, turning his arm to do so.]
I have a face, two arms, and two hands, yet I can not move. I count to twelve, yet I can not speak. I can still tell you something everyday.
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[He waves his hand in general at the dark green suit and the slightly peeking out top of his fern coloured socks. Green really was his colour.]
It suits you, it brings out your eyes.
[Oh. Shit. Did he say that out loud? Whatever, keep ploughing forward. Edward is babbling about some riddle, that should distract him nicely.] Ah, I know that one. It's a watch. Or a clock, I suppose.
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I am partial to purple. [Whatever that addresses. To clarify, Edward puts a hand on Oswald's arm and indicates his face a little.] To bring our your eyes.
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As always, he takes advantage of the moment. A little leeway is all he needs to move on close and put his hand on top of Edward's hand. It's almost as if they're holding hands. And Oswald could dream, couldn't he?] Glad to know. I will have to make sure I pick my colours with you in mind in future.
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[It could come across as flirtatious, given circumstances and the fact that, yes, they are currently holding hands, but for someone with his intelligence, Edward has been gifted with an unusual amount of obliviousness.
So he's unaware, even as he leans in close and looks right into Oswald's eyes.]
Your eyes are green. That's very rare. My favourite colour.
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[Because in certain lights, they were. They changed in the settings and could be whatever colour they needed to be. A deep green or an ocean blue. It was quite interesting. Of all the things about himself, Oswald did really like his eyes.]
Yours are the most fascinating shade of brown. So ... So deep. Dark. I could fall right into them and get lost.
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[Beautiful eyes. Edward does think that Oswald's gaze holds a lot of mesmerising power, perhaps what makes him so charismatic. It has never surprised him how easily the man finds followers.]
Oh, I doubt you'd get lost there. My eyes are really just brown.
[A shrug of his shoulders. He's not overly enamoured with any part of his body, the eyes included.]
But I appreciate the compliment.
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[They aren't that remarkable but Edward is and he'd have done anything for him. And, apparently, that included making an idiot out of himself and fawning over him like some idiot.
But damn if his eyes weren't beautiful.] This has been a wonderful Christmas, Edward.
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[He stands up, lifting his hand to look at the watch he's just been gifted.]
It's getting late, I better start cleaning up. Thank you, Oswald. And merry Christmas.
[With that he turns and walks off toward the kitchen.]
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He was hoping for a kiss. DAMN.
Pulling out his phone, he proceeds to text Harley while rushing to his bedroom. THIS IS THE DUMBEST CHRISTMAS EVER.]